When children feel uncertain they have little self-confidence which usually arises from a low or negative self-image. Children who feel insecure compare themselves to others or to the expectations of others. Insecure children often feel that they fall short, especially next to others. For example, children who feel insecure think that they are less able to do things than the rest.
What does the behavior of insecure children look like?
The behavior of insecure children or children with low or negative self-esteem may differ. Some children who feel insecure act quiet and withdrawn, speak softly and make little eye contact. Other children shout over their insecurity with tough and bravura behaviour. Sometimes children show self-confident behavior and can adopt an arrogant attitude. Insecure children stand out because they constantly ask for confirmation and need encouragement. Children who feel insecure especially need success experience and confirmation.
Does your child often compare himself to other children?
Insecure children often compare themselves to other children. By having an eye for what they are not doing well, they develop a low or negative self-image. Because these children continue to compare themselves and think that others can do everything better, the insecure feeling grows. It is very unpleasant when your child thinks every time something fails “see I can’t do it” or “I can’t do anything right”.
Does your child think “that was lucky”?
Insecure children often think when something goes well “that was lucky” or “that worked because of the other”. Your child will not start from itself. As a result, your child does not feel proud of his or her achievement. This is because your child does not make the connection between his or her success and the achievement. Insecure children often have a negative inner speech. These unhelpful thoughts ensure that your child no longer sees what he or she has done well. There is then no room for positive feelings such as happy and proud. The thought “I’m not good enough” or “others are much nicer than me” ensure that insecure feelings are further fed.
What do insecure children need?
Children who feel insecure need space to become independent and to know their own talents.
It is extremely important that children learn to transform negative thoughts into positive thoughts.
It is important that insecure children assume themselves regardless of what others think and say about it.
These are not easy steps. If you would like help and advice here, please feel free to contact me.